Getting Your Home and Life Ready

To prepare for your new daughter’s arrival, you need to line up essentials like car seats, cribs, strollers, diaper changing table, high chair, and more—and make absolutely sure that they are safe and up to date.
The Cleveland Clinic has a host of articles and resources on these and other pregnancy-related issues.

You will also need the help of family and friends in the weeks, months, and years ahead. Most of the time, they’ll be happy to help. Still, you have to be both gracious and judicious in accepting the help.

I’d had trouble getting along with my mother-in-law, and so wasn’t too thrilled when she came to visit for a week when our twins were about three months old. Man, was I in for a surprise. She was eager, affectionate, and silly with the girls. She made us sleep in while she did nighttime feedings. She was openly having a blast – and she was good at this nurturing stuff. These were all qualities I’d seldom seen in her before. It was like she was a different person. Even more amazing – the same thing happened to my staid and shy father-in-law when he visited a month later.

I learned an important lesson. You don’t always see all of who a person is and what she has to offer before a certain set of circumstances (like having a grandchild) come along. And, that set of circumstances can transform someone into a better person. So, don’t be too quick to judge or rule out how a relative or friend can help you.
At the same time, be clear about when and how you want help. You and your partner are the primary parents, and you have to figure out how to raise this child (if for no other reason that that grandparents eventually go home!).

So, welcome the wisdom and experience of your parents and other people who have raised kids. But don’t let them dictate what you do. If you have to, say lovingly and firmly, “Mom and Dad, I want your help and support. But in the end, we’re the ones who have to learn how to raise the baby, so you have to let us make those decisions for ourselves. I’d even like you to let us learn from our mistakes.”

Adapted from The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Being an Expectant Father by Joe Kelly and used by permission.